How to dress

Posted By: Ginger Edwards
Date: Tuesday, 2 November 2004, at 8:12 a.m.

Those of us hovering near 50, over 50, or WAY over 50
are quite confused about how we should dress.
We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting
and whether or not we are correct as we try to be hip. The following combinations DO NOT go together and thus should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts/tops and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short-shorts and varicose veins
12. In-line skates and a walker
13. Thongs and Depends!

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost
in your mind when you shop. Thank you

 

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