Mother's Dictionary

Posted By: Randa Lee
Date: Wednesday, 9 May 2001, at 9:51 a.m.

In Response To: Happy early Mother's Day!!! (Randa Lee)

Mother's Dictionary

AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

DEFENSE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: Able to whine in words

WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS : An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

Messages In This Thread

Happy early Mother's Day!!!
Randa Lee -- Wednesday, 9 May 2001, at 9:39 a.m.

Mother's Dictionary
Randa Lee -- Wednesday, 9 May 2001, at 9:51 a.m.

Randa (all too true, from an uncle that has been there) *NM*
Droid -- Wednesday, 9 May 2001, at 12:44 p.m.

Re: Happy early Mother's Day!!!
Ginger -- Wednesday, 9 May 2001, at 3:43 p.m.

Happy early Mother's Day to all the Mothers everwhere!!! *NM*
Author -- Friday, 11 May 2001, at 5:37 a.m.

 

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